Blog activity-Day five
Six things you wish you'd never done
1. I wish that I never would have gone to Carolyn Groom's New Years Eve party on December 31, 2003. That night torments me still.
2. I wish I would have acted more responsibly while living in California. There are many things I would have done differently. Let's just say it was my "growing up" year. I learned a lot about myself. Most of what I learned are the traits I DON'T want.
3. I wish I wouldn't have been so mean growing up. To everybody. Parents, sisters, friends, acquaintances. I wasn't very pleasant. Most of it, I believe would have been so much better if I would have been put on anti-depressants sooner.
4. I wish I'd never purchased that ugly wedding dress off ebay. Actually the dress would probably have been pretty if they'd sized it correctly. The measurements were no where near what I gave them. Ergh! Frustrations!
5. I wish I'd never let our money issues get so out of control. I know how to handle money but I just went along with some choices I should have thought over more. I made some mistakes I knew better about. Can you say Citibank personal loan? Stupid move award goes to me!
6. I wish I never would have let myself go. I was in decent enough shape; happy about my body and comfortably fit. Then I found Justin and was emotionally happy so I ate more with him and I put on a little weight.
My world slowly started to unravel and within the span of one year I was extremely depressed. It started on July 31, 2008. Justin's Step-dad Mike died of an accidental overdose and I put on more weight.
My Grandpa died in September 2008 and more pounds were added.
My cousin BJ died in a horribly gruesome hit and run on October 5, 2008 (The day of my bridal shower. Not many people came for obvious reasons) so I ate.
I married Justin on October 18, 2008 ...stress (There's a reason weddings turn brides into bridezillas.)
November 2008 It was decided that my Mother-In-Law would move in to our small apartment with us. I cried every day for 30 days. Afterwards it tapered off some.
January 2009 she moved in. It put a strain on all relationships. I will never get to enjoy the newlywed bliss of the "honeymoon phase" and for that my heart will always weep.
On March 3, 2009 I had a miscarriage which destroyed me. I couldn't function. I cried for so long the days ran together. I took so many pills because I no longer wanted to feel. I couldn't remember things. I didn't eat anything for a week. Then I devoured everything because I didn't care anymore. I will never forget our angel baby. I still cry and feel a heaviness in my chest that is my heart breaking when I think of them.
I got pregnant a few months later in late June 2009 and added some 30+ pounds overall during pregnancy. Luckily those all came off and I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight at my 2 week check up (but still extremely overweight). My labor and delivery was traumatic to say the least. I suffered PPD pretty badly along with intense PTSD as a result of feeling my C-section. I ate. Finally I talked to my OB about it at my 6 week follow up visit and was prescribed sertraline. I even cried in the Dr. office while trying to tell her I needed medication. I never EVER show my emotions to people (other than Justin). Crying was my lowest low ever.
So within the span of only one year I had grief and stress piling up higher and higher. Then I got pregnant and have you ever heard of a pregnant lady's hormones?! It was a little much for me to process. Two years of my life in a depressive funk that kept getting worse. I couldn't take it anymore. I was dying.
Finally, after the discovery of anti-depressants, my life (and eating) is at last under control. There is much damage for me to heal. It is going to be a slow and grueling process. Luckily I have the support of my amazing best friend. One of the many reasons Justin is my hero.
Hahahaha! That sure was a long #6 huh? I needed to vent. :) Thanks for listening Mr. Blog.
Mr. Lint Cow sits on top of the dryer just waiting for lint.
Along comes some tasty lint after a load of fresh laundry. 
"
"All gone!" He says, "That was tasty!"
He sits and waits for more lint.
1. When I was in Forestry camp in the 7th grade she wrote me a letter so I wouldn't be the only kid without mail. I was only there for a week so she went home after dropping me off and mailed it out the next day.
So using that inspiration here goes my activity. Of course feel free to copy this and use it in your own blog! All I ask is that you please link back to me (STEPHANIE DIANE!).
They all revolve around one thing/person. Can you guess what/who it is? 
1. Body parts-All of them. My absolute favorite part is the area between the hips. Where the stomach fades down and it isn't really stomach or naughty parts. 
Where the happy trail meets the curly hair. That line of curly hair from hip to hip hides the best part of Justin. It makes me tap my toes together and giggle in a silly girly way.
3. Having fun-Relaxing and having fun with Justin. Whether it's on a date or at home playing a game. Laughing together and enjoying each others company makes me feel ridiculously lucky.
