Oh S**T

Funny Jasper moment of the day. He was fussy because he was hungry and we took a while to get home. I put him in his chair, sat down and got out his sandwich from Subway. I don't know if you've seen a kids sandwich from there but for a 1 year old boy they are HUGE.

He's been shaking his tray saying, "Mo! Mo! Mor!". His version of "more". I finally set the whole sandwich, as is, down on his tray. His arms are gripping either side of his chair, his eyes get humongous. Then he whispers clear as a bell, "Oh shit."

I blame Justin.

The upside to, "Oh shit"? He loved his sandwich.

Icky Pew Pew!

While making breakfast for Jasper he decided he didn't want to wait and found the remains of some previous meal or snack on the ground. ...I didn't get to him in time. "Mmmm!" He said. I kindly reminded him, "No, It's icky pew pew. Icky!". He disagreed, I'm sure.

The oatmeal finished cooking in the microwave and dinged. I added a sprinkle of brown sugar. Tried a bite. Yum! It was mighty tasty. I cooled off a spoonful and gave it to Jasper. He shoves his fingers in there after the oatmeal. Proceeds to scoop it out of his mouth with his tongue hanging out like it's been greatly offended. Then he throws oatmeal on the ground with force and says very clearly, "Icky!".

Well then. It would seem I've finally found something Jasper dislikes.

Maternity Ward/Nursery

Justin was working on the fish tank, cleaning the filters out and noticed that there were two babies in there. One of the platy had fry! The other fishies in the tank are quite a bit bigger. I was worried they'd gobble up the babies. After all, there were only two in the tank and they should have many more.

In order to save the remaining babies and any future fry I decided to build what I am affectionately calling the maternity ward. Here's how it went:

I found one of Jasper's old wipes cases. Poked a whole bunch of holes in it with a push pin. Holey jeez I poked so many holes. I even made a goldfish on one side for decoration. You know, *The snack that smiles back UNTIL YOU BITE THEIR HEADS OFF!*
Then I attached two fishing bobbers on either end with some thin thread and voila! Expecting mommies will be put in there to have their babies and then removed so they don't follow through with the previously mentioned jingle.

Once the fry are large enough not to become fish food they will be released into "general population".

Ready? OK!

This evening when I got home from work I thought it would be fun to do some cheers with Jasper. A good way to jump around, expend some energy, be loud and have fun! I started off with a few easy ones and aimed them directly at my little man.

He just stood their staring with a big ol' grin on his face for the first cheer. The second cheer he got the hang of all the clapping and joined in. Doing a crazy off rhythm clap, not unlike many JV cheerleaders. By the third cheer, Mighty Varsity, he's stomping his right foot and saying "T". Then clapping and cheering afterwards. Freakin' cheer genius I'm telling you! Although I'll be super proud of him becoming a cheerleader...I really hope he takes an interest in football instead.

This was for the 2007 Toledo Summer Festival parade.

For those of you who are interested, and for those of you who aren't but can't tear your eyes away. The following is Mighty Varsity. x= clap (Don't be a complete idiot, you know what a clap is.), s= stomp (stomp your foot), Chest= This means pat your chest. Right hand touch left shoulder, left arm down by side.), . The beat the beat= make a patty-cake type slapping on your thighs. After the remix I'm not using the freakin' code.

Got all that? Good. Ready? OK!

We are the mighty varsity
We're gonna rock our team
To a victory
Hit it

ss xx ss xx s x s x s xx

We are the mighty Boomer team
We're gonna rock our team
To a different beat
Hit it

s xx s x s xx s x

Boomers!

Remix!

stomp clap the beat the beat clap clap chest chest clap the beat the beat clap.

"T" clap the beat the beat clap clap chest chest clap the beat the beat clap.
"H" clap the beat the beat clap clap chest chest clap the beat the beat clap.
"S" clap the beat the beat clap clap chest chest clap the beat the beat clap.

Boomers!

It's really a great cheer. Reading cheers kinda sucks.

It sure is a fun way to play though! And boy is Jasper a great cheerleader!! Must run in the family. Oh wait, that's the super competitive, must win at all costs thing. Woops. I have this theory. Take mine and Justin's build + Justin's height + the Leech aggressive opponent gene + Justin's confrontation happy gene = One kick ass sports player. I'm rooting for football but whatever! I just like to cheer!

Claws

I love having fake nails on. They make me feel pretty. But the cost seems high for something so simple. So I decided to take matters into my own hands (pun intended). I purchased a cheapo nail kit from Walmart. How did I decide which kit to get? Why, based on the pretty package, of course.
Now this kit ends up just sitting in my bathroom for about a month. I'm nervous as heck about going through with it. Apparently I thought with one false move I could destroy the tips of my fingers forever. I'm rather attached to them (another pun).The other night I took the plunge and just went with it. I kept thinking, okay phase 1 complete...phase 2, no problem...phase 3, accomplished...etc. But throughout the whole thing it really was a piece of cake. I had a few problems come up that will be corrected next time. No biggies. The end product was better than I expected and now I can finally allow myself to be addicted to fake nails!!Rwarrrrrrr!! Dragon claws attack!

Wizarding World

I love Harry Potter stuff! I read the books a few times. Read them to my sisters a few times. I never read the last book though. Oops! I'm so SO excited to see the final movie. Justin and I are going this Friday to the 6:10pm showing. Woop woop! I love date nights. *sigh*

It's sad that it's over but it had to happen. Hey, there's always the theme park!! In honor of my Potter fever I've changed the music around here. Enjoy!Found the picture here.

Pepiska

Warning! Today's post has some funny but lewd names for the male penis. Some swearing as well. So if you are an old hob goblin who never laughs and doesn't enjoy the occasional stick in the ...hidey hole (take your pick), then kindly pass this post. You're not my kind of people anyways.

Ladies and gentlemen your movie reference for the day.

The movie Heartbreakers, Sigourney Weaver playing Russian Ulga, man statue, movers break said statues manhood off, Ulga is upset about broken "pepiska" and no longer wants insanely expensive statue.

And now back to your regular unscheduled blogging.

Bottom line: foreskins are fun. Hella fun. And they look awesome. Natures perfect package: packed with excitement, keeps other parts clean and moist, protects the whole tackle, springs into position for sex and puts itself away at night. And the price can't be beat - one free with every boy! I found that last bit here but I wouldn't go there if I were you. I don't remember how I came to that website but I thought what the guy commented was funny so I copied it.

I'm sure he'll absolutely love me for this later but we decided not to circumcise Jasper. I don't care what other people do. I'm not a Rumpleforeskin advocate or preacher. It's your families business not mine. This was the best decision for our family. First of all, it was unwise/unsafe to circumcise Jasper when he was born. Two pediatricians advised against it. Well, they refused actually but it's not like we pressed them to do it.

After thinking it over...and over and over and over, we came to the realization that we weren't doing it to better Jasper. We were doing it because it's just something that everyone does. When has that ever been a good excuse to do something? Ever? Hmm, a story comes to me about jumping off a bridge because friends are. Doing something because it's trendy has never sat well with me.Another issue with it? Jasper's say so or lack thereof. If he would like it done when he's older and can tell us, me and his Daddy will be more than happy to do all of the leg work, scheduling, and paying for it. No problem. Or we'll sit back and let him handle it. Or we'll be completely in the dark and never know what happened. The point is, it's not our choice to make. It's Jasper's.

The ludicrous notion of, "But it'll hurt more if you wait 'till he's older". I'm damn positive that a person willing to make a decision like having your Beefy McManstick snipped can put up with a little burning sensation when he pees. You think a newborn is better capable of handling the pain? A six month old? A toddler? At Jasper's six month visit it was still ill advised for us to circumcise him. Not that we were going to, the doctor just wanted us to be aware. He would have to be placed under general anesthesia. Little sirens are swirling in my head and lights are flashing "Danger, danger!". I'd never voluntarily take that risk with my baby.

I also hear, "It's not clean" a lot. Wash your winky. There, now it's clean. Gross people. Take a flippin' shower. For the ones worried about how clean it is, I wonder how often they go through the "trouble" of cleaning their naughty bits. I'm guessing they don't if they are willing to believe that uncircumcised men have raunchy, festering one eyed monsters living in their shorts. For crying out loud people. It's just as clean, likely cleaner than your nether regions.It's soap. Visit Soapyho at etsy.

Babies are born perfect (usually). No alterations are required.

*Super snotty, news caster voice*
Thank you for listening. This has been a public rant from Tayia C Perkins.

p.s. Poor Jasper. A public rant about his wiener.

Okay, while looking for some witty clip art that I am seemingly unable to find I came accross this Mommies blog. She says it smoother than I did. I get frustrated by idiots.

If you'd like a hilarious but dirty minded laugh, go here and read all the names for a penis.

The Sound Of Music

Jasper is in love with the movie The Sound Of Music. He knows when all of his favorite parts are coming up even if he is across the room and just kinda listening to the movie.

1. Opening credits
2. Every singing part. In detail. He knows the moves, which characters sing which parts, the words and everything.
3. Captain blows the whistle and the kids come marching
4. When Liesl gets kissed, throws her arms up and says, "Weeee!"
5. The puppet scene. Ohmygosh the puppet scene. He'll drag you out to watch it with him.
6. And Jasper's newest thing? When Ralph comes to deliver a telegram, gets flustered and yells, "Heil Hitler!". Jasper now raises his arm in the salute with him. Not amusing.

He loves this movie and copies everything in it. But the Nazi salute? Really Jasper? Really?

Darth Vader Coffee

Darth Vader is hiding in the coffee pot!Please tell me I am not the only one who sees him.

I love the smell of coffee brewing. I decided it was just the pick-me-up I needed so I went to it and flipped open the top. Got down the filters. Reached over to grab the coffee. Raised the coffee to pour. Then I said, "Holy geez it's Darth Vader!" and started laughing like crazy. Jasper thought it was funny too because he started laughing with me (at me).

...You do see him too, right? I love coffee but Darth Vader coffee makes my day.

Seashell Garland

An easy project I've been meaning to do is a shell garland. It's a great way to display all of the shells I find on the beach. I think I'll use the thicker hemp twine instead of thin fishing line like some people suggest. It will give it a more nautical rope like quality.

The garland can be whatever you dream it to be. Crowded full of shells, a shell every couple inches, super long, short, it can be put up sideways with danglies or hang straight down in a single strand. The one I'm going to start out with is something like in this post (I got the picture from here too). They will look perfect hanging in our bedroom.

Ideas and Projects

There are so many craft ideas whizzing around in my head that it's getting difficult to remember all of them. So even though I haven't completed them yet, I'm going to blog about them. We'll call them...ideas and projects. That should work well. Ideas will be anything I'd like to do. Projects will be once I've started them. This can be anything from crafts, art, gardening, house projects, sewing, internet stuff, or anything in between and outside. I found many of them on Completely Coastal. Others I found reading House Beautiful. I love that magazine. And still others from browsing the web. Aren't you excited? I am!!

Hair

Last night I went wild and crazy and I dyed my hair. It's pretty much black now. I like the change and Justin loves it. People say that once you dye it black it's really hard to change the color. My Mom said it to me this morning but I knew it would be coming from many others. My response? That's kinda the point of permanent hair dye.

*Please excuse the lack of makeup in the following photos. It was very late and I didn't feel like getting dolled up for blog pictures alone. Sorry folks, you'll have to deal with makeup-less me.

Before:And this is after:


So what do you think? I'm not sure if you can notice through the photos but I even dyed my eyebrows.