Super Mom

Between learning my new place as a Mom of two, keeping my relationship happy with my Husband, helping out with the cheerleaders, and my ever losing battle of dirty house vs. Super Mom I've put the internet and specifically my blog on the back burner.  I have a bazillion (totally a word) ideas for posts and absolutely no time to type them up. 

As I'm sitting at the computer right now Ava is starting to wake up wanting fed, which takes around 25 minutes of me just sitting there being unproductive.  The stove timer is going off because lunch is done but I have to wait for it to cool before I give it to Jasper.  It should be cooled enough for him right in the middle of Ava's feeding.  Jasper is asking me for more milk and telling me he would like to watch another show.  I have exactly 45 minutes before my Mom will be here to drive us all up to the store to buy some groceries because we have practically nothing in our cupboards, fridge or freezer.  I'd like to not look like a crazy disheveled hobo but I think make-up is out of the question.  On the other hand I rarely get out of the house and speak to other adults so I'd really like to make this quick trip to the grocery store an event.

And just in case you were thinking that all this should be a piece of cake, Jasper, Avabella and I all have a wicked cold.  Poor little Bella-Boo can't even nurse well because her nose is so stuffy.  Little Man is finally feeling a tad better but he still cries for no reason just because he's achy.  Let's hope Justin doesn't catch it too.  Last thing I need is the dreaded man-cold making an appearance.

I have not abandoned my blog.  I'm busting at the seams with posts that need written.  I simply am putting my family first and have very little time to spare.  When I figure it all out, you will be the first to know.

If you feel like everything I just posted was spewed out as quickly as possible in one giant breath you're pretty much right on target.  I'll count it a success if you can actually understand what I said.  I'm sure correct grammar and punctuation are completely out of the question today.

Good luck!

The Countdown

We had all my pre-operation visits today.  I'm very excited and ready to meet Bailee.  I'll give the bad news first:  My blood pressure was 122/80something.  It's still good but 80something is high for me.  The doctors didn't seem worried at all so I won't be.  I have been quite stressed lately so I'm shrugging off a high normal.  I've gained 3lbs since last visit bringing my weight to 255lb for a total pregnancy weight change of minus 13lbs.  That's a great overall loss but I'm still bummed.  I'm attributing the gain to drinking much more water (3-4 more bottles than usual).

The good news:  Bailee and I look great.  We're measuring at 42 weeks.  The doctors and me estimate that she is going to be a big baby.  I was thinking that she'd be right at the same measurements Jasper was (9.3lb, 22 1/4") or maybe a tad smaller because she's coming a week and a day earlier than Jasper and won't have as long to cook.  If I'm honest with myself she feels much larger than Jasper did.  She has her legs up under my boobs, I can feel her moving on both sides of my tummy and twisting her head around low in my hips.  All at the same time.  Yeah, If I'm honest with myself I think she'll be larger than Jasper was.  I'm going to guess 10lb 2oz and 23inches.  If I'm going to guess, might as well go big right?

After our doctor visit we went up to labor and delivery to do more pre-op paperwork.  We had done some downstairs too.  Then the anesthesiologist met us up there and we went through my extensive, horrible background.  Long story short:  He feels confident a spinal will work.  They are giving me drugs at the same time as the spinal to keep my heart rate up.  No waiting until it starts to crash.  It's either epinephrine or ephedrine.  I get those mixed up.  I'm pretty sure the doctors won't ...or at least I'm hoping, lol.  If I feel any pain at all, meaning the spinal isn't working, he will immediately intubate  and put me under general anesthesia.  I am extremely happy with this news.  I feel very confident things will go smoothly this time.  With them knowing my history and prepared for the worst I don't see how it can go wrong.

Next, we went on a mini tour of the labor and delivery wing.  I say mini tour because man is that place tiny!  The nurses seem kind and definitely willing to accommodate.  I hope Justin doesn't give everyone too hard of a time.  He can be slightly overprotective.  Debbie refers to him as a pitbull protecting us.  I must say that is completely and utterly accurate.

Only 5 days until we meet Bailee!

Because there are 5 days left I keep singing the beginning of this song.  I can't help myself.

Pick-Me-Up

If I'm upset or need a pick-me-up my number one go to method is pampering.  Most of which includes good hygiene I should be doing more often anyways.  As most of you know I've been extremely stressed out lately and there seems to be no end in sight.  So tonight after Jasper went to bed I had some "me time".  What a difference it has made on my outlook.  Yes, there is still a million things to do and only a nano second to do them in.  But, I have faith they will get done in time.  It will take hard work and we'll be cutting it close but it will get done.

Tonight's pick-me-up:
#1  I took a nice luke warm shower.  I love luke warm showers.  Crazy, right?
#2  Scrubbed my body with pretty smelling soap.
#3  Washed my hair once and then put in deep conditioner.
#4  Shaved my legs and armpits while the conditioner did it's job.
#5  Rinsed out the conditioner and washed my upper body again because conditioner is a guaranteed way to get pimples everywhere.
#6  Twisted into funny positions so I could spend time scrubbing my feet.
#7  Shower was done so I gather supplies and head out to the living room.
#8  Put on a slinky pajama outfit, lay down a comfy blanket and get to work ...doing absolutely nothing naughty.
#9  Spray Thermasilk leave in conditioner/detangler and comb out hair.  For those interested, apparently Thermasilk is no more.  Now it appears to be Sunsilk?  Don't quote me on that.  I bought my bottle ages ago.
#10  Rub Infusium 23 Moister Replenisher all over my hair but especially at the ends.
#11  Brush it and play with it a little more.  I love my new hair.
#12  Use the foot scraper thingy on my feet until they feel smooth as a peach.
#13  Apply Liz scented lotion on my arms, hands, legs, feet, tummy and a little on my cleavage.
#14  Painted toenails hot pink.
#15  Painted fingernails two coats of a pretty purple.
#16  Apply nighttime moisturizer to my face.

#17  Spoiled myself with a bottle of cream soda.

 

All the while I was watching the 2012 MTV movie awards with my hottie Honey.  Did anyone else catch the bit with Joe Manganiello in a fireman's outfit?

Holy shit!  He is, hands down, my biggest celebrity crush ever.  That man is fucking hot!

It's been the best night I have had in a long time.

You ain't got no aliby, you ugly!

READ ME!!  So some people I know just had a babies.  I need to point out that this post was written and scheduled before they had their babies.  I feel the need to clarify that this wasn't about anyone's baby in particular.  Just newborns as a giant group.  I've been wondering if my newborn will be cute or ...newborn-ish.  I did the same thing with Jasper.  That's what inspired this post.  Not anyone's baby.

I know that what I'm about to say is terrible ...but I think most new babies are ugly.  I know I have a problem.  I've always thought this.  As I've grown up and had a baby of my own, with another on the way, I can honestly say it hasn't changed my opinion.  Most newborns are ugly.  There is the occasional cute new baby...but chances are it isn't yours.  I, of course, thought Jasper was a very cute newborn!  I still think he was a cute newborn.  But I'm willing to bet every mother thinks the same thing.  And most of them are freaking wrong.

So it gets me wondering if Bailee will be a cute newborn or if it will take a few weeks to become the beautiful little lady I know she will be.

When a baby is born they are often wrinkly, or puffy, bruised, some have cone heads, some have lumps, bumps, scrapes, scratches, patches of odd color, skin color is wonky, etc.  It's just the way it is.  Babies have a rough road getting out of the belly.  It's only expected they look like someone kicked their asses.

For the record, I do think that most kids are cute eventually.  For some it takes a few weeks, others a few months, and still others... well I'm sure they have adorable personalities. 

If you're calling me a monsterous bitch right now...

Who, in their right mind, calls babies fugly?!?

I'd have to agree with you. 

Please note:  I would never actually tell a person my true thoughts about their precious little bundle.  It doesn't matter if I think your kid is ugly or quite gorgeous.  The answer to any parent will always be some version of "what a cute kid".  

Lol, now I feel like Romy from Romy and Michele's High School Reunion.  When she's trying to get a job, tells a customer how nice the jacket looks on her, then turns and tells the prospective employer that she can sell the shit out of anything even though she's just saying bull.  The customer, of course, hears everything and now doesn't think she truly looks nice in the jacket.  Take a peak at about 2:30.

But seriously, I wasn't talking about your kid.  It was someone else's.

Samantha

My sister, Samantha, said she was proud of me.  :D  That made my day.  I've always been a bigger person.  Still am.  But I've been eating better, doing more and making choices that make me happier.  I've lost 16lb so far this pregnancy.  Who knew that pregnancy was an awesome diet?  I'm sure I've actually lost more than that since the baby and waters and junk floating inside my belly weigh around 35lb.  I'm excited to see how I look after I have our little girl.

When looking in the mirror the other day and then at some pictures this is what went through my head, "Holy crap.  I can see my cheek bones and collar bone.  When the hell did that happen?  Fuck yeah!" 

I've been talking to Sam this whole time about how much weight I've lost and what my goals are for after baby.  She's my weight loss buddy.  The other day she told me that she noticed you could see my cheek bones and that she was proud of how well I was doing to reach my goals.  Aww, It still makes me smile.

Medicine Cups

Jasper learned a new achievement today!  He can officially drink medicine out of a medicine cup.  We've always given it to him dropper by dropper and never really let him try it on his own.  For those who don't know, kids medicine is a messy, sticky disaster.

Today at Wal-mart I bought him some stuff for his bad chest cold.  It was the regular ol' cold that's been going around but it moved down into his chest two days ago and it's bad.  If his cough doesn't improve by Monday we're taking him to the doctor.

Anyways, we got out to the car and I wanted to get the medicine in him ASAP.  Trouble was, unless it's infant stuff they don't include a dropper.  So we gave it a shot.  It wasn't working at first.  He would get some on his tongue and then want to swallow.  About four times of doing that and he hadn't even made a dent.  I poured some in his mouth, he swallowed it and didn't spit any out.  Success!

I gave him a fever reducer just a half hour ago.  It was a piece of cake.  No mess at all and it only took him three sips!

Every day Jasper surprises me with his advances.  He's so smart and loving.  You should see him and his cousin, Kaidynce, play.  They share, hug, give kisses, play peek-a-boo, play tag.  It's adorable and oh so sweet.  We're raising some great kids.

Meow

Apparently Shrek is a huge hit in our house.  Jasper can talk you through the whole movie telling you which parts are funny and what's coming up.  He especially loves the beginning when Shrek is "cleaning" himself.  It's pretty adorable when Jasper gets into trouble now, too.

Me:  Jasper Nolan-Lee!  I said, "No".  It is not okay to throw things.
Jasper:  Kind of blank expression on face.  Eyes open wide and blinking slowly.
Me:  Aww, honey...


We figured out later he got that little look from Puss-In-Boots.  Those cute little kitten eyes that will get him whatever he wants.  Stinkin' ham!!!  And I fall for it every time.

I'm F-ing losing it.

Keep in mind this must happen or I will become so overly dramatic the world will undoubtedly end.  So within the next 11 days we plan on

#1  Completely cleaning the downstairs apartment.  Dirty yucky druggy people used to live down there.  This includes: 
removing all garbage - holy cow is there a lot of garbage.
vacuuming the floors - probably multiple times
shampooing the carpets - I'm interested to see the final color.
scrubbing the walls/baseboards/all surfaces - *whole body shudder*
patching holes
painting
clearing out the basement attachment of crap
pouring concrete slab
building and hanging back door

#2  Moving all of Debbie's things downstairs into newly cleaned and prettified home.  This includes:
running phone and cable lines
boxing up and moving all dishes, food, bedroom and bathroom items, dressers, etc.
setting up her computer, tv, etc.

#3  Rearranging our new home.  This includes:
moving me and Justin into Debbie's old room - bed, dressers
rearranging the kids' room - take bed out, put bed in, move bed around, shake a hokey pokey or something.
bring everything for Bailee out of storage and set it up in kids' room
put clothes into dressers and hanging in closets
move bookshelves and hutch to new locations in the house - not an easy task.
clear out back room so everything is accessible
buy dishes, silverware, etc. that we need.
put everything in it's proper place in the kitchen - includes dishes, silverware, food, etc.

#4  Because we think we're super human we're going to throw in paint entire upstairs.

#5  June 2nd @5pm - Attend Stephanie's bachelorette party.  This puts a hold on house-to-home production.
#6  Get together with Samantha and take maternity photo's
#7  Afternoon of June 5th - Go to doctor's pre-op visit, take hospital tour, meet with anesthesiologist to ready for surgery and Bailee.
#8  June 10th - Attend Kallee's baby shower.  Yay for babies!!!!

#9  June 11th - Go to hospital and have a newborn.  Bring her home to a home and not just a place where our crap is.

And that about sums up my list of "how to stress yourself out to the point of breaking".  A HUMONGOUS thank you to my Mom and sister, Samantha.  They have been coming over to help clean the downstairs and thank you, thank you, thank you.  11 days people.  This all must happen in 11 days ...or else.

Anyone want to come over and help?  I don't have much but I'll make you a cake or brownies or something.

Bailee

We found your name!  We will call you Bailee.  For certain.  No changies or take-backs.  We're pretty certain about your middle name as well but that'll remain a secret until the big day.

All was well at the appointment today.  My blood pressure was 120(something)/70(something).  I now weigh 252lbs.  Woohoo!  I met with the last doctor in the OB department and I really like him, too.  I'm a huge fan of all the OB doctors at Newport!  Yayyy!!

On June 5th we have our final appointment with Morishita for all of the pre-op paperwork and mumbo jumbo.  Mumbo Jumbo is the technical term.  Daddy and I will take a tour of the hospital at that time.  Right after that appt. is one with the anesthesiologist because Mommies body doesn't handle stuff well.

Babies tend to quit moving so much as you get later in pregnancy because there is such limited space.  You haven't slowed down a bit.  Not even a little.  In fact, I'm certain you've become more active.  It's pretty fun to play "guess that body part" with you.  You like to move them around as soon as I get a good feel.

The doctors keep asking if I think you'll be as big as your brother was.  I'm thinking, yes.  You feel pretty big.  We'll see.

Only 12 days until we get to see your sweet face!

Egg Hunt

Easter was so much fun!  Jasper really enjoyed hunting for the eggs.  As soon as he spotted the first colored egg he was on the hunt.  Running around the yard picking up all the eggs he could find.  He would only put them in the basket once his hands were so full they started falling on the ground.  He's just so much fun now that he understands things better!

Picture overload of our handsome little man.

Lullaby Update

Before Jasper was born I wrote him a lullaby and I plan to do it with every child we have.  I'm in the process of writing a lullaby for this baby.  A few more verses were added to Jasper's Lullaby after I had posted it though.  Here is the whole thing.

Jasper's Lullaby

Jasper, my love, hush close your eyes
While Mommy sings your lullaby.

Baby mice are fast asleep.
You won't hear baby birdies cheep.
'Cause everyone's tucked safe in bed.
For a peaceful night of dreams ahead.

So Jasper, my love, hush close your eyes
While Mommy sings your lullaby.

Stars they shimmer just for you;
Like laughing dimples in the sky.
The moon will watch you while you sleep;
A night-light for the world to see.

So Jasper, my love, hush close your eyes
While Mommy sings your lullaby.

Adventure waits so count the sheep.
You'll be a prince on your mighty steed.
Befriend the dragon, save the future Queen.
You'll fall in love and become the King.


Jasper, my love, hush close your eyes
While Mommy sings your lullaby.

A cave of wonders hides in sand.
Genie has a monkey friend.
Magic carpet fly across the sky.
It's you and me, a whole new world tonight.

So Jasper, my love, hush close your eyes
While Mommy sings your lullaby.

We both love you very much.
Feel our warmth through gentle touch.
Close your eyes and drift to sleep.
Hush, be calm, be quiet my sweet.

Jasper, my love, hush close your eyes
While Mommy sings your lullaby.

Nuh-night baby.  I love you.

Little Lady

Little Lady,

Some changes have been made.  First and most important.  Mommy has come clean and told Daddy that she isn't a huge fan of the name Avabella.  As of right now you are called Little Lady.  Sorry about that.  We have some ideas but will keep them to ourselves until we are absolutely positive this time.  You can blame it all on Mommy.  I kept going with the flow hoping the name would grow on me but no such luck.

We've also switched hospitals.  We are now patients of the Newport hospital.  They seem very nice and intelligent so as long as we stay out of the ER we should be good.  The csection is still scheduled for June 11th with Morishita; Renner will be assisting.  We're having weekly checkups now since your due date is only 26 days away.

26 DAYS!!!

I'm crossing my fingers and hoping (even praying) that the horrid people downstairs move out soon.  Your nursery set up and my stress/sanity is depending on it.  You see, when the people downstairs move out, your Grandma Debbie will be moving downstairs.  Mommy and Daddy will be moving into the room she was in.  You and your brother, Jasper, will share the big room full of toys.  It's all riding on the people downstairs.  We're cutting it close and it's stressing me out terribly.

In other news, all was great at today's checkup.  My blood pressure was 118/70.  My urine looked good.  Usually that statement would be kinda weird but since I had a kidney stone a few weeks ago, to have good urine now is a very good thing.  I'm down to 256lb now!  When we started this little adventure I weighed 268lb.  Heck yes!  12lb weight loss!  Mommy will be meeting with the anesthesiologist in a few weeks to discuss the drama about me and epidurals.  They will get all the info they need and I will get my fears eased.  I'm so glad Renner scheduled that today for me.  It is a huge relief knowing that we'll be prepared for any crap that happens this time.

I can't wait to meet you sweet-bean.

Note:  This is the most current photo of you in my big belly.  Kaidynce is playing with your Great Grandma's dog Tuffy.  More on that visit coming soon.

Checkup

Well little lady,

At the last doctor checkup all was going great.  Mommy has lost a total of 4lbs since the beginning of this pregnancy.  Woop woop!  The doctor is not concerned.  #1-the reason I'm losing weight is because of healthier eating and exercise.  #2-My uterus is measuring exactly where it's supposed to be.  I can't wait to see how much I weigh after having you.  With Jasper I gained a total of 32lbs throughout the entire pregnancy.  All of that was gained in the last five months.  After I had him I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight within one week.  Me and you only have 8 weeks to go and I am still below my pre-pregnancy weight.  It will be interesting to see how big you are and how much I lose.

My blood pressure is great but I have to pee in a cup at every visit now, just to be safe.  They don't want pre-eclampsia sneaking up on me again like it did before.  They also had me do the glucose test which involved drinking something similar to a flat uber sugary orange soda.  Yum... not.  Then they take some blood.  We will find out the results to those tests later this week but I think everything will come back just fine.

 

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The rest of the appointments for this pregnancy are all scheduled.  Only four visits left!  Ahh!  You're going to be here before we know it.

All Grown Up

Happy birthday to the sweetest boy in the whole wide world!  Today you turned two years old.  Although if we ask you it's "tee" with your thumb, pointer and middle finger out.  Don't try to grow up too fast, Honey.  Today you got some awesome toys:  a ball to sit and bounce on, a big rubber balloon ball to whack around, a truck that's been mudding (your favorite toy), coloring stuff that only colors on the special paper (Mommy loves this), some Hot Wheels cars and a few other little knick-knacks.

On Saturday we've invited everyone over for cake and ice cream.

This is not my kid.  Jasper is definitely not 5.  I'm working on this project I've seen around Pinterest.  More on that coming up.

Happy birthday Jasper!!  Mommy and Daddy love you so very much!

A Pic With A Bunny

Hippity hoppity Easter's on it's waaaaayyyyy!!!! Guess who was at the local JC Thriftway today? The Easter Bunny! Right when we walked in Jasper was very curious about the fuzzy bunny. We walked up and watched another little kid get their picture with Easter Bunny then it was Jasper's turn. He happily accepted the Easter egg. It was even blue, his favorite color. Sitting alone on the giant rabbits lap was not his idea of a great time. There was no freak out but he definitely wanted down. When Daddy sat next to the Easter Bunny it went much smoother.  I am so looking forward to the Easter egg hunt tomorrow! Jasper is going to love it!

Thanks for the blue egg and all, dude, but let me down before I start kicking your Easter eggs.

Ehhh!!  Get me the f*** down!

Mom!  Tell me you see the giant bunny next to me, too.

Shunning the Easter bunny.

When Jasper found out there was stuff inside that blue egg it was as if he discovered some buried treasure.  He had flopped the egg down in the cart which cracked it open.  Candy scattered, Jasper's eyes grew wide, and then the egg took a mild beating to see if more candy would pop out if he opened it again and again.  

Yo Ho Ho!

If you ask Jasper how old he is going to be he holds up his thumb, pointer and middle fingers and says, "fwee!".  He'll be two on Tuesday.  It's pretty close.  In honor of his birthday I drew the Jake and The Neverland Pirates characters on our window.  I think they turned out pretty well and Jasper loves them.  He keeps asking Jake for kisses and hugs.  Aww.

 

Washer Safety

I just talked to Justin yesterday about this and now there is an article.  I'm ahead of the game.  And wouldn't you know it, it was an Oregon family.  Hits a little close to home. 

Jasper often helps with the laundry now.  We hand him clothes to put in the dryer and he stuffs them on in.  He'll also hand us clothes to put in the washer.  Well he was helping me with laundry and I was explaining that we put the soap in to make the clothes clean and fresh.  After it was turned on he leaned over and tried to touch the water.  I believe someone showed him this and let him do it.  Jasper also climbs into the dryer now. 

I nagged at Justin and told him never encourage Jasper to play in the washer or dryer again.  They are not toys!  Justin says it wasn't him who showed him the washing machine "fun" so I'm guessing it was Debbie.  Dryers can be dangerously hot and washers can drown.  Jasper can help with chores but he needs to learn safety first.

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In Justin's defense I laughed the first time I saw Jasper in the dryer.  Justin was just showing me what Jasper discovered on his own.  I mean, it was cute as heck.  But then I pulled him out and said "no-no it's not safe" which made me the total bad guy.  And I felt guilty because I laughed which made it seem like it was a good thing to do.  Bad Mommy moment.

*Note:  I have problems with the above image.  I'm not a fan of her setting the kid on top of the machine and then leaning around him but I can get over that part.  It's not a huge deal.  However, the cleaning products right next to the child are a gigantor no-no.  No way, José!

Some may accuse me of being overprotective or silly or whatever, but here's the kicker:  My kid, My rules.  End of discussion.  Do you think it's okay for kids to splash in the water of the washing machine?  What about climbing into an empty dryer?  Your thoughts won't change mine but I'm curious how others feel about laundry room safety.

Stuff On TV

Two random things I discovered while watching tv. 

#1-  I was watching Animal Cops:  Luckiest Babies.  That right there should have been a big no-no for me.  But it said "luckiest babies" so that has to mean happy endings right?  It did but that didn't make the situations any less sad.  One Mommy dog and her litter of fourteen puppies (four-frickin-teen!) had been abandoned in a house.  It was obvious no human had been there in a long time.  Every puppy from that litter was a cute chunky little baby.  Every single one of the fourteen!  What an fantastic Mommy.  Some dogs suck at being Moms.  This was not one of those dogs.  I hope she got some great treat and a lucky family to spoil her.  She deserves it.

#2-  I'm constantly looking for cheerleading shows online.  Mostly the competitions that have recently aired.  My sister was able to see all of them and I haven't found even the tail-end of one.  We have the same channels.  I don't get it.  So I'm flipping through the guide and I see Cheerleader Camp.  I get totally excited!  Then totally disappointed.  It's a porno.  This happens to me every time.  Cheerleader Camp, Cheerleader Tryouts, Cheerleaders, etc.  I must say I was suspicious when once I read Sassy Cheerleader Girls.  That title tipped me off.  You'd think I'd remember but I see the word "cheerlead" in it and I get all giddy.  I'd like to point out that I always read the description and even if I simply clicked it, we don't get that particular naughty channel.

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Have you ever seen something on tv and wanted to comment to someone about it but no one was there with you?

Scared

Even while we were still thinking about getting pregnant I was getting nervous.  As the due date is getting closer, I'm starting to freak out more and more.  I am terrified of having a repeat csection experience.  Terrified!  If it goes badly again, this will probably be our last baby and I really don't want that.  I'm hoping for four kids.  A person can only take so much trauma.  It really messed with me and made many things... uncomfortable to deal with.  I still replay it over and over in my head and recall all the awful little details.  "Women forget the pain of childbirth"  bull-fucking-shit!  I call a B.S. on whoever made that crap up.  I can tell you every terrible part in painful, gory detail while I'm crying my eyes out and lash out at anyone who so much as attempts to touch me how much lying horse crap is in that saying.  Perhaps fools forget.  I will never.

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Please for the love of whomever, don't let me feel anything.  Please, oh please, let the drugs work.  Please.  Please let this happen without traumatizing me too badly.

Pretty please?

Shake Your Tushy

My sweet Avabella,

I'm going to tell myself that it's because you absolutely love it.  Let's just put that out there in the open now.  You see, this evening I was listening to Nickelback and I thought you might want to hear them also.  I mean they are pretty awesome.  Your big brother, Jasper, heard them when he was in my belly too.  He didn't wiggle as much as you did though.  The music wasn't up very loud or anything crazy like that, but when I put the headphones against my belly... the princess started getting her groove on!  I could see you turning, elbows, feet and tushy moving every which way.  There was flopping over and stretching galore!  Wouldn't you know it, I go to wake Daddy up so he can see... nothing.  Not even a random twitch from you.  D-I-V-A.  Oh well, I had so much fun.  I'll be doing it much more frequently now so I can find out what music gets your little groove on.  I'm sure your big brother will love to help.  He adores music (and the headphones) too.  Only 68 more days until you're here!

Lots of love, hugs and kisses
-Mommy

Violent Imagination

Few people realize how much of a bitch I can be. Which surprises me. Often times, when a person is pissing me off this song plays on repeat in my head. And all my people have a dance rave to it while we stomp your face in and hurt you. Hurt you very, very badly. The torture I've imagined is brilliant. So today's disturbed thoughts of violence are dedicated to that special bitch who can't help but piss me off every chance she gets. I hope it makes you smile, too.

Jones vs. Knowles

Orlando Jones meet your long lost sister Solange Knowles.Click on the image to be taken to its source.

Bitch Be Crazy

Big problem. Big big problem. I've come to the conclusion my anti-depressants are making me violently ill. Like intense uncontrollable exorcist vomiting and then shaking. That can't be good right? I haven't been taking them every day like I'm supposed to because I haven't felt well (plus I'm forgetful while pregnant). Now I know why. This also explains my terrible "morning sickness". I'm willing to bet it wasn't morning sickness, seeing as it happened about 3-4 hours after I take my antidepressant every day. Hmm, suspicious. I'm going to stop taking them until my Dr. appt in a few days. Hopefully she'll have a good answer for me.

You know how the Hulk says, "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."?

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Well, it's kinda like that for me when I've been off my meds. You wouldn't like me without my crazy pills. Hell, I certainly don't like me. Which is part of the problem. In fact, now that I think about it, running around yelling "Tayia SMASH!" holds quite the appeal.

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When I don't take them I get this intense body tingly thing that I can not stand and I'm disoriented. Not to mention the fact that I go kinda bitch postal for the tiniest reasons and then enjoy harming myself. Ya, not good in the slightest. In case you were wondering though, I haven't done that in a very long time. Oh I've wanted to. But I haven't. I made Justin a promise and I'll keep my word to him no matter what.

Oh man, this isn't going to end well. Poor Justin. He's the one that's gonna have to put up with my cray-cray ass. I hope the doctor has an amazing solution I have simply overlooked in my freak-out.

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Growing Up

Jasper is growing up so fast. The list of things he says and does is too long to even attempt to keep track of anymore. I love watching him process things and then seeing the light bulb click on.The first one is him playing outside with a bucket helmet. He loves the bucket helmet. The next pics are naked time after a bath. He ran and crawled in there on his own (like everything else). He thought it was hilarious to get into Dobby's kennel and shut the door. I had to get a pic of him being a goof.

So yesterday he was having some naked time which always starts off by him running through the house, arms raised high yelling, "I feeeee!" (I'm free). Then he went in his room to watch Mickey Mouse. Out he comes just a few minutes later, "Uh-oh"
"What 'uh-oh'?" I say back, "Did you go pee or poop in your room?" To which he quickly replies, "Okay". Then goes back in for more Mickey. Once I got in the room I couldn't see any obvious place where he'd gone "uh-oh" so I asked him, "Where did you go potty?"
"I dun know. Whey?"
"Well, I don't know. You're the one who went potty, not me. Where did you go pee or poop?" Big pause... nothing happening. "Show me, please."
Big sigh, "Ah rieeeet." (all right) He started to get off the bed, I'm hoping to show me, when I step in pee.
"Eeew! Found it."
Small snickers and giggles, "yeah."
"Thanks, dude." My sarcasm is lost on him...I think.
"Yeah." Then starts dancing to Mickey.

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Oh silly Jasper.

Justin always kisses Me and Jasper and says I love you before he leaves for work. Jasper told him that he loved him too last night. That's a first. He'll say, "high fife" (high five) if he's done something good. I blow raspberries on him all the time. He learned how to do it back about two days ago. I hate getting it done to me 'cause it tickles so dang bad. But that's what good Mommies do. They get sticky raspberries blown on them. Thank you, oranges, for the sticky. Jasper peeled an orange all by himself. One of those "Cuties are made for kids" oranges. He was feeding me tiny little chunks of it with the biggest smile on his face, "I did! I did! Mom-mom-mom-y, I did!" The mess didn't even matter. He did it. All on his own.

I look forward to each day just to see what he'll do next.

Rocking out with my new headphones on. Gah, the cuteness! Gah, the horrible quality!