Tinker Moth

As we were heading down to the water Jasper made an exciting discovery. On the side of our home was a moth.

Both kids got overly animated. I didn't quite understand all the hype. Even for my kids, they were excessively awed by this particular bug. Avey much more so than Jasper.

Jasper: Mommy look it's a moff! A moff! Oh my goodness is so adowable. Look sissy, a moff!

Avabella: AAH! Mommy! Wook, wook! Oh tute! Oh dosh! *high pitch girly squeels*

Aves is jumping, pointing and wiggling so much trying to get me to put her down so she can get an up close view. What has gotten in to her?!

Me: Uh huh it's a very cute moth. Come on guys lets go play in the water.

Avabella: Nooo!!!

Me: Ok!! Geez fine let's go see it. Just stop screeching at me, monster.

Naturally Jasper poked it. The "adorable" moth took off flying in the sunshine. It was in the next moment I discovered why my little princess was so VERY excited about an ugly moth when usually she hates bugs and says eew.

Avabella, my little mandrake root, squealed in her highest, girliest voice. Pointing and jumping up and down. Eyes glued to Mr. Moth as it fluttered away. The most excited I think I have ever seen her. Ever.

Avabella: HAHBELL!!!!! Mommy woot, Hahbell!!

Que the awe's. My darling little daughter found a fairy. Tinkerbell.

Thank you, Bella-boo. Thank you so much to both my babies for reminding me that magic is everywhere. You close my eyes again and again so that I can once more see with my heart the treasures all around.

Baby P

Those who know me well already know the sad part of this story. In March 2009 I was pregnant. I didn't stay pregnant. It was and still is the hardest thing I've dealt with. 

Every March since then I've done things I wouldn't normally do. Whether I'm looking for some twisted form of comfort or acceptance, who the hell knows. It's how I deal apparently. This year was no different. 

I know people say you shouldn't but I blame myself for the loss. I should have gone a little easier. I shouldn't have stressed so much. I should have prepared better. It was my fault and every March I remember. Every March hurts. Every March I do stupid things. I don't know if it's an odd form of grieving or healing or just me being nutso but I do it. Every March. 

I saw this thing that's been going around about a mother who turned her sons grave into a sandbox so his brother could play with him. Maybe you've seen it? If you look closely and read the headstone there is a sweet poem written there. I loved it so much. This year I used it to write my own words to our baby that we never got to see. 

To my tiny Baby P:

You are my angel, my darling, my star,

And my love will find you,

Wherever you are. 

Although you were in our lives for mere moments, we both love you so very much and think about you often. Watch over your younger brother and sister for us, my precious angel. 

Love,

Mommy

It's not much but it makes me cry every time. In my head I always add, "I'm sorry I failed you and couldn't keep you safe."

March sucks. 

Face Lift

My cute little blog needs a sexy face lift. As soon as I get my hands on a computer I'm on it. Until then, we will have to make due with... This.

Naughty Princess

That's me, the naughty princess. I've always been a dirty little freak. Those who know me can readily attest to that fact. Now I can safely say more people know. It all started yesterday. 

I was having some pain in my left breast. You see, I'm still producing milk. Im just an over-achiever like that ;). For those of you who don't know, having a clogged milk duct hurts like a son-of-a-bitch. And can quickly develop into an infection called mastitis. Including full body aches and pains, a fever, vomiting, general feeling of crappyness and that you are dying. It's truly that miserable. And I had the beginning of that. 

What's the cure? You might ask. Massage the breast while baby is nursing. I have a little problem there. My baby stopped nursing over a year ago. My dear husband doesn't roll that way. But massaging does usually work to eliminate the problem. 

I wrote a funny little post to my husband saying, "My left boob hurts. Come rub it for me."   Dirty but relatively innocent enough. We are a married couple after all. And with two children. It's no secret that my tits have been played with. Apparently someone was offended enough by my comment to my husband that they flagged it. They reported it to Facebook. 

That irked me. It was like a slap in the face. A boob. One left boob. I asked my husband to rub it. Not fondle. Not grope. Not suck, lick, bite, fuck. I asked him to rub it. Admittedly, I did not explain why but I didn't want to. I thought it'd be funny. And kinda naughty. But just barely. 

Since I was a little miffed and feeling rather frisky I decided to post a pic of some serious cleavage. Not something I'd normally do but also not something shocking if done by other people. I flashed the camera in a black bra that was not see through. The pic was cropped above the nipples so there was no freaking way it could possibly be visible. I showed less skin than if I was wearing a swimming suit. 

They flagged it. Now I'm pissed the fuck off. 

The next day I flooded my page with half naked images from various Facebook pages. These images were very risqué. Extremely naughty and dirty and kinky. Not one was flagged. They weren't even shocking. 

I posted another picture of myself with a towel covering my body. What you could see was the same skin that would be visible if I wore a tube top. Again, they flagged it. 

Why? Am I that offensive? Is me showing both shoulders so much worse than the lady from Sports Illustrated whose nipples were clearly visible? If they were so repulsed by me why not unfollow or unfriend me?  I have to believe if they know how to report an image then they know how to unfriend a person. 

To the flagger, whomever you are:  you've succeeded in making me feel cheap and unwanted for a while. Thanks bunches. Lucky for me I'm a strong woman who knows my value. I bounced right back. 

I would love for you to let it be known who you are. Don't be a fucking pussy. I won't harass you as you have done to me. I won't try to hurt you as you have tried. I would like to know who you are so that I may cut you out of my life forever. I want to know your face so that I know never to look your way again. 

I deserve to have better people than you around me. You are nothing to me. And your opinion of me will never matter. 

I will continue to post pics of my breasts because they insist on jumping up into view. I will continue to share images about sex because I love to fuck. I may one day post a pic of me in a swimsuit because I will be proud of my body. Not ashamed. 

If I have learned anything from today it's that I'm perfect as the kinky freak I am. So you, Little Bitch, can fucking suck my tits. ;)

Drift Wood Jewelry Rack

When we lived at the South Beach house and I visited the ocean every day I was able to gather beautiful pieces of drift wood.

For this project I used large smooth pieces at least three feet in length. Then I took those little hooks and screwed them in. I eyeballed all the measurements. At the top I screwed in closed eyelets and threaded thick twine through.

All that was left was to hang them up. This was an extremely easy, visually stunning craft project. It took me a total of maybe a half an hour and that's because I took my time dusting them all off. The studs in the wall took a while to find, too. 

The result is a beautiful jewelry rack that reflects the time I spent enjoying the beach. This is by far my favorite craft project to date. 

Glass Float

Justin bought this gorgeous purple glass float for me from a second hand store for $15.  I tied knots around and around, dream catcher style. I think the end result is pretty fabulous. 

365 Selfie Challenge

Welcome back to my creepy, dirty, kinky, naughty, out there blog!  I've missed these blog therapy sessions and guess what? I found the app for that. Haha!

My sister Samantha and I are doing the 365 Selfie Challenge. The rules are pretty simple. Take a selfie every day for a year and post it. The why of it is our juicy story.  Sammy and I are stay-at-home mommies. There have been many more days than we would like to claim where we stayed in our pjs and looked like crap. It doesn't make a woman feel very sexy about herself. This is where the challenge comes in. It's a way for us to hold ourselves accountable. Every day we will get all dolled up and snap a pic. Even if we don't leave the house, the world will see us. 

Although we both actually started a few days ago, this will be our first official day.  

March 11, 2014 get ready for our close-ups!

I will try to link everything but who knows how it'll work on my phone. 

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