You ain't got no aliby, you ugly!

READ ME!!  So some people I know just had a babies.  I need to point out that this post was written and scheduled before they had their babies.  I feel the need to clarify that this wasn't about anyone's baby in particular.  Just newborns as a giant group.  I've been wondering if my newborn will be cute or ...newborn-ish.  I did the same thing with Jasper.  That's what inspired this post.  Not anyone's baby.

I know that what I'm about to say is terrible ...but I think most new babies are ugly.  I know I have a problem.  I've always thought this.  As I've grown up and had a baby of my own, with another on the way, I can honestly say it hasn't changed my opinion.  Most newborns are ugly.  There is the occasional cute new baby...but chances are it isn't yours.  I, of course, thought Jasper was a very cute newborn!  I still think he was a cute newborn.  But I'm willing to bet every mother thinks the same thing.  And most of them are freaking wrong.

So it gets me wondering if Bailee will be a cute newborn or if it will take a few weeks to become the beautiful little lady I know she will be.

When a baby is born they are often wrinkly, or puffy, bruised, some have cone heads, some have lumps, bumps, scrapes, scratches, patches of odd color, skin color is wonky, etc.  It's just the way it is.  Babies have a rough road getting out of the belly.  It's only expected they look like someone kicked their asses.

For the record, I do think that most kids are cute eventually.  For some it takes a few weeks, others a few months, and still others... well I'm sure they have adorable personalities. 

If you're calling me a monsterous bitch right now...

Who, in their right mind, calls babies fugly?!?

I'd have to agree with you. 

Please note:  I would never actually tell a person my true thoughts about their precious little bundle.  It doesn't matter if I think your kid is ugly or quite gorgeous.  The answer to any parent will always be some version of "what a cute kid".  

Lol, now I feel like Romy from Romy and Michele's High School Reunion.  When she's trying to get a job, tells a customer how nice the jacket looks on her, then turns and tells the prospective employer that she can sell the shit out of anything even though she's just saying bull.  The customer, of course, hears everything and now doesn't think she truly looks nice in the jacket.  Take a peak at about 2:30.

But seriously, I wasn't talking about your kid.  It was someone else's.

Super Problems

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Comments

It seems some people are having issues trying to comment on my posts. Pay attention and I'll walk you through the steps. It is quite simple really.

1. Read the post
2. Click "Comment" at the bottom of the post.
3. Type your comment into the big white-ish box
4. Sign in using one of the options.
5. Click "Post Comment" button
6. Verify you are a human by passing the little typing test.
7. Ta-daa!!! You posted a comment!!

Most of that, everyone gets. The tricky part is step #4. I usually have no idea who "anonymous" is. It would be really great if people would leave their names. To do this, right above "anonymous" is "Name/URL". I know it looks scary with the URL part but don't worry! I'll talk you through it.

After you click on "Name/URL" a new little window pops up. Type your name (or any nickname you'd like to use) in the top line.

In the bottom line you can:
A) Leave it blank. In this case you are done and can click "Post Comment" and move on to the verify human stage.

or

B) Copy and paste a link to your website. Whether it's a personal website, blog, Facebook page, etc.. Since I know many of you use Facebook to get here I'll talk about that one.

Open another tab or window on your computer and go to Facebook. Log into your account. Go to your profile page. Copy all that junk in the address bar. What you just copied is called your Facebook URL. Now go back to where your blogging comment is. Paste your Facebook URL into the URL section. Yay!! You just linked me to your Facebook page so I know who you are!!! Congratulations!

Told you it was a piece of pie. I like pie. It has mad ninja skills over cake.