Ladies and gentlemen your movie reference for the day.The movie Heartbreakers, Sigourney Weaver playing Russian Ulga, man statue, movers break said statues manhood off, Ulga is upset about broken "pepiska" and no longer wants insanely expensive statue.
And now back to your regular unscheduled blogging.
Bottom line: foreskins are fun. Hella fun. And they look awesome. Natures perfect package: packed with excitement, keeps other parts clean and moist, protects the whole tackle, springs into position for sex and puts itself away at night. And the price can't be beat - one free with every boy! I found that last bit here but I wouldn't go there if I were you. I don't remember how I came to that website but I thought what the guy commented was funny so I copied it.
I'm sure he'll absolutely love me for this later but we decided not to circumcise Jasper. I don't care what other people do. I'm not a Rumpleforeskin advocate or preacher. It's your families business not mine. This was the best decision for our family. First of all, it was unwise/unsafe to circumcise Jasper when he was born. Two pediatricians advised against it. Well, they refused actually but it's not like we pressed them to do it.
After thinking it over...and over and over and over, we came to the realization that we weren't doing it to better Jasper. We were doing it because it's just something that everyone does. When has that ever been a good excuse to do something? Ever? Hmm, a story comes to me about jumping off a bridge because friends are. Doing something because it's trendy has never sat well with me.
Another issue with it? Jasper's say so or lack thereof. If he would like it done when he's older and can tell us, me and his Daddy will be more than happy to do all of the leg work, scheduling, and paying for it. No problem. Or we'll sit back and let him handle it. Or we'll be completely in the dark and never know what happened. The point is, it's not our choice to make. It's Jasper's.The ludicrous notion of, "But it'll hurt more if you wait 'till he's older". I'm damn positive that a person willing to make a decision like having your Beefy McManstick snipped can put up with a little burning sensation when he pees. You think a newborn is better capable of handling the pain? A six month old? A toddler? At Jasper's six month visit it was still ill advised for us to circumcise him. Not that we were going to, the doctor just wanted us to be aware. He would have to be placed under general anesthesia. Little sirens are swirling in my head and lights are flashing "Danger, danger!". I'd never voluntarily take that risk with my baby.
I also hear, "It's not clean" a lot. Wash your winky. There, now it's clean. Gross people. Take a flippin' shower. For the ones worried about how clean it is, I wonder how often they go through the "trouble" of cleaning their naughty bits. I'm guessing they don't if they are willing to believe that uncircumcised men have raunchy, festering one eyed monsters living in their shorts. For crying out loud people. It's just as clean, likely cleaner than your nether regions.
It's soap. Visit Soapyho at etsy.
It's soap. Visit Soapyho at etsy.Babies are born perfect (usually). No alterations are required.
*Super snotty, news caster voice*
Thank you for listening. This has been a public rant from Tayia C Perkins.
p.s. Poor Jasper. A public rant about his wiener.
Okay, while looking for some witty clip art that I am seemingly unable to find I came accross this Mommies blog. She says it smoother than I did. I get frustrated by idiots.
If you'd like a hilarious but dirty minded laugh, go here and read all the names for a penis.
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