Complicated

Complicated is a fun word to say. Try it out. Complicated, it has clicking sounds when I say it. Oh the simple pleasures. I'm complicated. That's what I was getting to. Let me explain.

I love Rob Zombie, Katy Perry, Nickelback, Metallica and Taylor Swift.
I hate to cry but I love to cry so Justin holds me close ;) sneaky huh?
I love to dress up but often don't.
I love shopping but feel so guilty about it I buy things I don't really want instead of the things I do.
I love all aspects of water but am sometimes afraid of it.
I can not stand emotional people, even though I can be passionate about things.
I dislike being the center of attention but I love to lead and teach.
I hate crowds but I love cheerleading.
I can go from crazy happy and giddy to fucking pissed over something stupid.
Even though I realize my logic is irrational, it doesn't change the way I feel.
When I say "whatever" or "It doesn't matter" it usually matters very much and I'm livid.
I expect people to understand others with little vocabulary because I can.
I love to sing but embarrass myself, even if I'm alone.
I love to edit writing.
I love to break punctuation rules.
I love having a blog.
I love writing on my blog but I rarely do.
I feel like if you don't want to give everything then why try.
I love with all my heart if you are lucky enough to get noticed.
I don't trust people.
I don't forgive and I rarely forget.
I'm trying very hard to live a happy life.
I'm trying very hard to let things go.
The reason I don't like to hear about sad things or watch upsetting movies is because they break my heart.
I don't sympathize with people.
I don't comfort people.
I absolutely love books but I dislike book clubs.
I like helping people find a book they'd like, only if they have similar taste to mine.
I understand and like to notice when I read, things like character building, foreshadowing, descriptions, contradictory aspects, climaxes, where the author got the inspiration for ideas and what made them describe the information that way.
I hate discussing books.
I love country life and want to live on a farm.
I love being in a big city.
My views on religion make complete and total sense to me.
My views on religion are more like feelings and I have great difficulty and feel silly trying to explain them.
I love using a large vocabulary and understanding words.
I like to talk like a little kid and dork.

*sigh*
I wish people would understand me better.
I love being complicated.